Category: Uncategorized

Fear, no loathing

Three weeks ago I gave Siri a list of grocery items to place on my reminder list.  At Trader Joe’s I opened my phone and found the list:

Egg    Milk    Celery   Sliced Turkey   Character

I filled my basket with the first four items then started looking around Joe’s for character.

Not much in the frozen items, some of the vegetables definitely had character, especially the brightly colored peppers. An industrious looking clerk was refilling a bin of eggs, but I wasn’t too confident about how to start a conversation about her character.  The person who checked me out seemed to have a cheery and open character, but that’s about as far as I could ascertain.  I tried to remember what it was I told Siri….oh yeah, carrot juice.

 

Happened again today.

Reminder list, as interpreted by Siri.

Milk      colde slaw     crumpets   and fear.

Nothing really looked very fearful at Trader Joes.  Some of the sweet potatoes had weird fearful shapes,  The dairy products were totally fearless.  One customer rushing to the restroom did have a look of intense fear.

Finally decided Joe’s was out of stock

Remembered what I told Siri      Liquid Yogurt  – Kefir.

 

 

 

Re

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forbici per favore camerier

For an American (especially one brought up in the semi-arid cultural desert of Utah) and without Italian grandparents, eating spaghetti, fettuccine, linguini etc. is not easily done with grace and aplomb. One grasps a forkful, wraps it around a spoon and behold pasta …..yet with pesky little embarrassing strings hanging down from the spoon.

Like all great invetions, this one came to me quite by accident.  Eating a dish of spaghetti in our library, waiting for Rachael Maddow to finish her story,  already,  There happened to be a pair of scissors on the coffee table.  Why not, I thought, grabbed the scissors, snapped the offending remainder and with a total absence of mess neatly gobbled down the alluring pasta.

However, I realize that such a solution would be heresy to any proud Italian.

It so happens that the Italian word for scissors is  forbici, a word ringing with gusto and charm.  I can imagine, with with a boost from the new food editor of the Chronicle wandering into Seven Hils or Frascati and requesting forbici  with no lack of cool or sophistication.

 

Can a Tesla get a dui?

Interesting story in this morning’s Chronicle, in case you missed it.

Yesterday two CHP officers were driving south on 101.  They passed a Tesla and noticed that the driver was asleep.    The Tesla Model S is not a self-driving car, and Ellon Musk personally warns each driver that she/he  must keep hands on the wheel.  The car does have autonomous features and will keep on going when the driver says ” look Ma, no hands”

The cops followed the Tesla blaring the siren to no avail.  They then came up with a very creative solution.  Two CHP cars:   one gets behind the Tesla doing S curves back and forth on the freeway to slow down oncoming traffic.  The other gets ahead of the Tesla at its speed and gradually slows down, then coming to a complete stop.  Tesla does the same.

The “driver”  is taken to some official office, and presumably was charged with a DUI.

I’m imagining his defense “I confess to the UI part, but officer, I wasn’t driving!:

 

 

 

Westminster II

Norm’s new advice column item one:

When you have a dinner party and someone is kind enough to bring wine, if you don’t open it, label it right away with the name of the kind guest.   That prevents you from embarrassing yourself by giving him/her that same bottle back when he/she invites you to dinner…….unless, of course, you’re sure he/she won’t remember.

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How about Westminster II – a dog show for mutts.  Criteria:

  1.  The frequency, speed, and arc of the winner’s tail – as measured by a wagometer
  2. The height and speed of the winner’s jump when the judge approaches.
  3. The subjective judgment of the panel concerning the winner’s appetite for play with other dogs.
  4. The judge must want to take the winner home.

 

spirals

The Spiral Jetty is the most famous work of the American Sculptor Robert Smithson.  It’s an earthwork sculpture built in 1970 on the north shore of the Great Salt Lake.  Many folks in the art world consider it to be one of the more important pieces of American art of the 20th century. Last Sunday Nan and I joined many members of our  extended family to take a bus from Salt Lake up to see it.   It’s 150 feet long and 15 feet wide.  It could fit in Golden Gate Park, but it wouldn’t mean anything there.  The sense of great open space and the Lake frame its wonder.

Below is a photo of the Jetty.   To get to it there is no path – no marker – no stairway, just rocks.  This is the way Smithson wanted it – totally uncommercial and difficult to access.

Some family members advised Nan not to try.  But she was determined, and as you can see  she made it

In past years it has been often submerged, but now is on dry land.IMG_0025.jpeg

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it was the app’s fault

if you have an Iphone ( and maybe other phones) and want to send a text, and use the word suggest feature, and you type “terr”, 2 suggestions immediately appear, right next to each other “terrific”  or “terrible”.

What did you mean ?  My $5000 Vera Wang dress is terrible?

Honey, it was the app!

likely excuse, the wedding’s off.

 

 

So you thought that IPO was the most terrific deal you ever did?

no boss, it was the app

Yeah sure,  You’re fired.